Darryl’s belogue

Many things happened in my life these few weeks…. sad and joyful momments, but i can say the joyful ones are "self-made" ones…

I don’t know why there are many times i come into problems and obstacles in life, i dont feel anything anymore although i know i should be feeling something, for example, sad. Many times i face it and feel my heart getting harder and colder each day…. and it would soon be a stone. Maybe it is my subconcious telling me to be strong or may be i chose to let it go easily… i dont know how to describe my feeling now, but that it is… i am frustrated.

It seems that everyday i am frustrated, and the frustration is concealed deep within me.. nobody knows it, not even myself.. I somehow have a new perspective of life now, which i will keep it to myself. And one thing i feel very much after all these pressures is that i want to leave this world… hehe…  anyway, i dont very much care about what happen in my life now… i’ll let it go on as it wants to, and no more hurts… this made me understand emmanuel’s feeling, it is so wierd.. but yet so secure…

My holiday? My trials? i dont care much about it anymore… part of it is because i choose not to care about studies so much… I did my best in trials and that’s it.. and i wasted almost all my holidays playing computer games…. "warcraft - dOTA" . i enjoyed myself though. But still, i as a student have to complete my responsibilities to study.. so, i hope that i can do my best in trials and be happy about it. I pray that you all, my friends, too, will have a good result after many days of studying and many cups of coffee for some of you… But i truly enjoy my holidays in wasting time… never feel so "addicted" before.. haha

About this new perspective of life… actually there are many things that have contributed to this decision. The things that happened around me everyday has also made me realize that this is just a "test" of my future life as an adult.. hmm… i guess it would be easier for me to rely on God rather than on my ownself..  GOOD LUCK IN YOUR TRIALS FRIENDS!!!!

I love you, O lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress

and my deliverer;

   my God is my rock, in whom I

take refuge,

   He is my shield and the horn

of my salvation, my stronghold.

I call to the Lord, who is worthy

of praise,

   and I am saved from my ENEMIES.

   The cords of death entangled

me;

the torrents of destruction

overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled

around me,

   the snares of death confronted

me.

In my distress I called to the

Lord,

   I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my

voice;

   my cry came before him, into

his ears.

Psalms 18:1-6